So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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