the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
