I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
