Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize