I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
