A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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