Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize
