porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
