chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
