Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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