She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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