I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize