As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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