Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
