i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize