So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
