I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
