so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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