Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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