I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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