whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
