I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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