sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
