dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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