STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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