I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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