is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
