ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
