I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
