I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
