Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
