I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
