Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize