party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
