y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
