**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
