Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize