Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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