All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
