I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Randomize
