These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
