were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He passed out mid-signature
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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