ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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