apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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