I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
How's work?
Spinning.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize