Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize