OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
