It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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