It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
