I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
