I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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