Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
