I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
