Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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