I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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