Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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