Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
