I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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