I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
