You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
