you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
